My (Not So) Maid Of Honor Speech

I’ve always been an “emotionally challenged” person, in terms of verbally expressing matters of the heart. If my actions didn’t speak loud enough, or “I love you” didn’t suffice… I struggled.

I’m sure some of you are thinking “Why would that be a problem for a woman? Most men are the same way.” And I would have to agree, most men are… ironically, I’ve managed to stumble upon that lower percentile of “emotionally needy” men my entire dating life. One, where “Yeah… you know, ditto” doesn’t quite cut it as a thoughtful response.  Apparently, Cupid has a “prankster” side. Well played, Cupid… Well played.

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One of my dearest friends recently asked if I would be her Maid of Honor, to which I gladly accepted. While assembling the wedding invitations one night, she dropped the “speech” bomb on me. Without a second’s hesitation, I responded “No problem.” I mean… it’s not like I’m not capable of writing a speech for Pete’s sake. I write speech-like stuff all the time! So, what if I’ve not wrote an actual speech-speech before… it can’t be that difficult. I got this!

WRONG!!!

Later that night, I opened my laptop in preparation of starting the speech. After staring at a blank screen for about an hour, it finally sunk in. I wasn’t expected to give just any speech during her wedding; I had to come up with something endearing and mushy. Suddenly, my “No problem” statement turned into “FML!”

Another week has passed, since my initial attempt in writing a speech. I must admit, I think it’s coming along rather well. Here’s what I have so far…

I’d like to start by offering my condolences  congratulating the bride and groom…

It’s a work in progress…