It’s Getting Hot In Here, So Take Off All Your Clothes

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Burning Down the House.”

Your home is on fire. Grab five items (assume all people and animals are safe). What did you grab?

My home is on fire? That figures… now that I no longer live in the house that I had hoped would go up in flames for half a decade or longer. This is why I don’t gamble.

Any who… if my home was on fire, I can only assume that I would be in the shower at that time. Because, convenience has never been a friend of mine.

So, the first item I would grab: A TOWEL!

Do I really need to give an explanation for this one??

The second item I would grab (while holding onto the towel with my other hand) would be: My Makeup Bag

There’s bound to be at least one hot Fireman on the way.

The third item: My cell phone

I’m going to need some way to save the hot Fireman’s number… and a way for him to call me later….

Fourth item: My Journal 

With my kind of luck, it would only partially burn and someone would read what was left. That “someone” most likely being the hot Fireman… Then I would have to change my name and leave the country.

And now… my Fifth and final item: My I.D. 

I’ll need it to get shitfaced at the bar later. After I realize that I didn’t grab anything of importance during the fire and that I am now SHOE LESS!!! 

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Agree to Disagree…? You must have me confused with someone willing to compromise

Do you have a good friend or close relative with whom you disagree on a major issue (political, personal, cultural)? What’s the issue, and how do you make the relationship work?

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Agree to Disagree.”

First off, agreeing to disagree is nothing more than a “White Flag Waiver”, surrendering in defeat. And I’m hardly a “Quiter”. If you have enough guts to step up to the line and challenge me to a “battle of the wits”, then you better be prepared to fight till the bitter end. Or, at least until your argument is proven invalid with no verbal ammo left to fire . No guts, no glory!

Beware, though… the odds of you walking away victorious, are slim to none.

Along with me possessing the skill to twist my opponent’s words into a jumbled pile of “who gives a shit”, I also have a knack for making them eat those very same words as well. Nothing like trying to choke down a mouthful of your own regurgitated bullshit… Mmm… Tasty!

But, alas… even the indestructible Superman found himself a victim, to his sole weakness; kryptonite. With me, that sole weakness goes by a slightly different name… Mom. She is the most bull headed, opinionated, delusional woman known to man! This woman will argue, fight, kick, bite, scream and curse your entire existence, relentlessly, over  something as simple as a public Handicapped parking spot, then walk off bragging of her success. Did I mention that it was a “Public” Handicapped spot…?  It doesn’t matter how much knowledge you hold, how little she knows herself or your level of skill in debate, you’re going to walk away a loser… on purpose…  just to save your own sanity.

So, what major issue do I agree to disagree upon, when dealing with my mother?

 ALL OF THEM!!! fc43875bab27a5756804b0973d544c56

Never Fear, UnderBlog is here! Under…who??

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Be the Change.”

“What change, big or small, would you like your blog to make in the world?”

The first thought that came to my mind, after reading the question above, was the image of Underdog posing in his little super hero stance.  Like my blog is really going to slap on a cape and take off to save the day or something… Duh duh Duh! It’s UnderBlog!

It's a plane! It's a bird! It's a frog! ... A frog?!?
It’s a plane! It’s a bird! It’s a frog! … A frog?!?

Okay, now that I’ve shared that with the world and showed my true level of “nerd”… let’s get back to business. How about a Pop Quiz boys and girls!

If my blog (Cloudy soul with a chance of shenanigans) were capable of making a change in this world, I’d hope for it to be… 

A. Peace on earth
B. Cure world hunger
C. Challenge my readers to open their minds and allow change. 

If you chose A – Well, for starters… you have way more confidence in my blog than I do and you chose the wrong answer.

If you chose B – I’d say it’s safe to assume that you know nothing about me personally or my level of procrastination. Let me just say this… People would starve! Oh, and you chose the wrong answer as well.

If you chose C – Give yourself a gold star for choosing the correct answer! Not only are you smarter than the average bear (and the readers who chose A or B as their answer), but you are also someone who knows how to “wing it” in this crazy world. Because everyone knows, when in doubt, the answer is ALWAYS C!