My (Not So) Maid Of Honor Speech

I’ve always been an “emotionally challenged” person, in terms of verbally expressing matters of the heart. If my actions didn’t speak loud enough, or “I love you” didn’t suffice… I struggled.

I’m sure some of you are thinking “Why would that be a problem for a woman? Most men are the same way.” And I would have to agree, most men are… ironically, I’ve managed to stumble upon that lower percentile of “emotionally needy” men my entire dating life. One, where “Yeah… you know, ditto” doesn’t quite cut it as a thoughtful response.  Apparently, Cupid has a “prankster” side. Well played, Cupid… Well played.

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One of my dearest friends recently asked if I would be her Maid of Honor, to which I gladly accepted. While assembling the wedding invitations one night, she dropped the “speech” bomb on me. Without a second’s hesitation, I responded “No problem.” I mean… it’s not like I’m not capable of writing a speech for Pete’s sake. I write speech-like stuff all the time! So, what if I’ve not wrote an actual speech-speech before… it can’t be that difficult. I got this!

WRONG!!!

Later that night, I opened my laptop in preparation of starting the speech. After staring at a blank screen for about an hour, it finally sunk in. I wasn’t expected to give just any speech during her wedding; I had to come up with something endearing and mushy. Suddenly, my “No problem” statement turned into “FML!”

Another week has passed, since my initial attempt in writing a speech. I must admit, I think it’s coming along rather well. Here’s what I have so far…

I’d like to start by offering my condolences  congratulating the bride and groom…

It’s a work in progress…

Betrayal’s Web

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Betrayal greets you at the door
With a friendly smile
And a warm embrace

It draws you in
Through misled trust
And portrays itself
As your closest friend

It entraps the mind
Through web weaved lies
Spewing hollow words
Full of empty praise

And weeps like rain
On a stormy day
When the slightest doubt
Threatens to unveil its skin

It digs into your deepest realm
Where every shameful memory dwells
And plucks them, intently
Like a thief

To hold your crest
High,
Above your head
Tainted by deceit

Say “Hello” to 2015, the New Year is officially here!

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Time to act upon those freshly made New Year resolutions, reset the personal goals list and wipe the slate clean. Ready… Set… Go!

Wait, where am I going again? New Year, you say? But it’s only Thursday… that’s not going to work, I can’t start in the middle of a week. I’ll start on Monday.

New Year’s Eve, for many, is a day of reflection and anticipation. It’s either the “Let’s do that again” day or the “Don’t let the door hit ya on the way out”. It’s the “Day” of days, where new beginnings are only a sunrise away.

For me, it’s the sad realization of how long I have to wait for my next paid holiday off. Other than that, it’s just another day…

Seriously, why do so many people see New Year’s Day as a day for starting over? Their life didn’t change, the date did. They’re going to wake up as the exact same person they were the night before. Considering they didn’t drink their weight in tequila and attempt to jump off the neighbor’s roof…

What do a ball drop and a change of the calendar have to do with changing one’s life? Hell, I’ll build a ball drop and buy a stock pile of calendars if that’s all it takes. Have a shitty week? Drop that damn ball! Here’s a new calendar, it’s “Do over” time!

Now, where’s my champagne?