“Why are you still single?”, the dreaded question…

I cannot begin to describe the annoyance that builds within me when asked “Why are you still single? “. You might as well be asking “What’s wrong with you? “, both answers are the same. So here is my answer (detailed far beyond your desire with my own views added just for shits and giggles) to all inquiring minds. I bet next time you’ll think twice about asking after reading this!

Relationships these days… They no longer seem to be a union of two hearts but more so a “crutch” for many. It concerns me how some people can’t even spend a week being single before jumping into a new relationship or running back to the person that they just left. Especially if a person places themselves back in an unhealthy environment for no other reason than to serve as a “security blanket”. What happen to finding happiness within one’s self first and foremost? Why do so many people believe they need someone in their life to feel whole? Have we lost touch with ourselves so much that this certain mindset is now a requirement to feel happy? Personally this is one band wagon I have never been able to jump on. But do not confuse any of this as making me a bitter “man hater” with no desire to ever date again… That is hardly the case.

I have been single for almost two years now, following the separation and divorce from my ex-husband. Which I’m sure is making several of you raise an eyebrow along with judgment at this very moment. Save it! I have no intentions of deceiving anyone or falsifying my own experience in an attempt to validate my opinions. No, it hasn’t been the greatest two years of my life, but neither were the two years prior that I spent in a relationship. Did I choose to not get involved with anyone from the very beginning of these past two years you may wonder? The answer is no, I did nothing of the sort. Did I decline from every date I was asked out on? Hardly! Did I make poor decisions during moments of weakness fueled by loneliness? You bet your ass I did! Did I suffer through spells of bitterness and hatred? Um… have we met? Absolutely! I also drank excessively to numb my pain and cried myself to sleep more times than I would like to admit. I was self-destructive beyond a shadow of a doubt. But I couldn’t see the damage I was causing myself in those moments because I wasn’t allowing myself what I truly needed… time to heal.

What I did know was that in the midst of feeling betrayed by my ex I also lost my ability to trust my own thoughts and feelings. I doubted everything and everyone! And that was not something I could continue to ignore. I began to focus on “me” and more importantly my worth. Doing such made it easier to turn away any unwanted courtships, even in moments of loneliness. Of course I’ve had a slip up or two since, but nothing in comparison to what I had allowed only months prior. But at no point in my search to find myself have I ruled out dating completely. After all, the goal has never been to restrict myself of love indefinitely but to be proud of what I have to offer to another when that time comes.

As with any type of growth in life, be it physical or emotion, I became curious of how other people think and feel towards relationships and life in general. I chose to open my mind to other’s opinions and try to understand without inflicting my own personal judgments. I observed their actions in comparison to their words closely and unsuspectingly. The reward in doing such paid off impeccably! Imagine how differently a situation from your past could have turned out if you had been able to perceive it from five different angles at the same time. It also gave me back my confidence in being able to see people for what they truly are. I now feel like my own little version of Wonder Woman! Go ahead and let that sink in for a moment.

In conclusion, I am still single mainly because I have not met someone capable of filling the desires I require in a significant other. Many men may think they are Super Man, flying around, saving one little naive female heart at a time. But in truth most of them are nothing more than an over-sized ego, with a towel tied around their neck, portraying their self as the “Good Guy”.


Author: tabithalinton

I'm a introverted Leo. In other words... I'm going to need a bigger box!

6 thoughts on ““Why are you still single?”, the dreaded question…”

  1. Your blog title misled me. Although ‘shenanigans’ happens to be one of my favorite sounding English words, I have formed a static opinion about books, stories, blogs etc. that contain that word in the title. I humbly admit that my bias was wrong. You sound like a very centered individual. You have opinions that you have taken the care to craft so they represent how you really feel and how who you really are. How refreshing to read an answer to that age old question, “Why are you still single?” without sound condescending and/or desperate for a man. Thank you for sharing your insightful observations. Although, I do have to admit, I can’t wait to read about at least some of your shenanigans 🙂 Oh yeah, if you could work ‘kerfuffle’ and ‘onomatopoeia’ into any of your post I would be quite pleased as these are two more of my favorite sounding English words. (jk)
    I look forward to reading more. Peace, ~victoria


    1. Thank you so much! It pleases me to know that my words are viewed in such a positive way. I have to confess though, I have failed to contribute towards the ‘shenanigans’ portion of my blog just yet. But they are soon to come! Who knows… I might even introduce you to a new favorite English word or two. 🙂


  2. Loved this – very true. I was married twice and have been single over ten years now and am quite happy in this state. Why? I haven’t met a guy I love enough to trade in my independence for. I’m told I’m too picky but never could settle for less than “the real thing”. Guys of course are human and we all come with our set of problems etc. but the love must be real to overcome it. (Thanks for your follow – look forward to further exploring your blog.)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad you enjoyed it Claire and thank you for sharing your own view on the subject! I couldn’t agree with you more! I’ve been told that I’m too picky as well but in all honesty, I see no reason why shouldn’t be in this matter. If there was ever a time to be picky, this is it! Lol. You are most welcome for the follow and I look forward to further reading your posts as well! 🙂


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